Good to be Back
by Lilith-d'Eden
Summary: This takes place in season 6, episode 12 of Supernatural, "Like a Virgin."


Sam sat back in his chair, putting his phone away glumly. Bobby definitely wasn't telling him something. Neither he nor Dean were giving him much information about Sam's year "away," and it was starting to feel suspicious.

Sam sighed, glancing at his laptop screen without interest. He wasn't allowed on the case (dragons? really?) _and_ he wasn't allowed to be in the loop. He felt like he hadn't even left, yet when he woke up a few days ago everything was different. They were treating him differently, like he couldn't be trusted. What the hell happened that year?

Sam perked up when he remembered that Castiel was alive and, unlike him, was not Pit-bound this past year.

He shifted in his seat, then began, "Castiel, I'm back...so, if you got a minute..."

He looked up, searching for the angel. Cas appeared before him with a flutter of wings. Sam stood.

Castiel regarded Sam with wide eyes.

"Sam," his voice was emphatic. The hunter felt a rush of affection for the angel.

"It's so good to see you alive."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, you too."

Sam was surprised when Castiel stepped towards him with his arms out. Since when did Cas hug people? The idea made Sam uncomfortable. He had always felt a sort of reverence for Castiel. He was an angel, for God's sake! Though he'd never admit it to himself, he had revered Castiel in a much less pure fashion for a while now. Following a frantic impulse, he quickly sat back down in his chair. Castiel stopped, confused, then sat down at the table across from Sam, looking a little hurt.

The hunter groaned inwardly. Good, Sam, that's how adults deal with their feelings...

[He appreciated physical contact a lot these days. What with the stress of the Apocalypse before he'd entered the Pit and the distance Bobby and Dean seemed to be giving him now, hugs were really reassuring.

When they broke apart, the angel was standing a breath's distance away from Sam.

The hunter figured it was just Cas being his socially-awkward self. He chuckled slightly, trailing off when he realized that Castiel wasn't moving away from him, but looking deep into his eyes.]

He took a stab at nonchalance. "So...what's up, Cas?"

"I - ," the angel began. He hesitated. He looked away from Sam, as though contemplating something. He shifted in his seat, looking nervous, and cleared his throat.

Sam's brow furrowed with concern. Was something wrong with Castiel? He'd never seen him act like this.

"It's okay, Cas. Spit it out."

"I - ," Castiel finally made eye contact with Sam again. "I just - missed you." He smiled weakly.

Intrigued, Sam studied Castiel, who was apparently looking for answers in the motel room decor. He's not telling me something. The angel's deep blue eyes revealed an array of emotions that took Sam off guard. He's...sad? Apologetic? Nervous, obviously. There was something else he couldn't quite place.

[Sam stood for a moment, then a warm smile washed over his face.

"Thanks, man. I would say the same, but what with the time warp I went through..." he shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "I am, however, definitely glad to see you alive. We thought you were a goner."

Castiel didn't seem to know what to say - he looked distracted to Sam. And even a little nervous? Maybe. The angel was looking up at Sam with those big blue eyes. They looked sad.

Sam had no idea what to do with this situation. Castiel had always been open with Sam, and Sam didn't often see the angel so...lost. He compensated for his apprehensiveness with kindness, gesturing to the chair opposite the one he'd been sitting in.

"Let's sit down," he smiled reassuringly. "We have a lot of catching up to do."

Castiel nodded brusquely, seeming to shake himself out of his stupor, and sat. Sam joined him, closing his laptop before giving the angel a concerned look. On the one hand, he wanted to learn what had happened while he was in the Pit. On the other, Castiel seemed genuinely troubled by something, and he felt obligated as Cas's friend to help him out.

They sat in silence for a moment. Sam studied Castiel's face while the angel glanced around anxiously, apparently looking for answers in the motel room decor.

"Cas." Castiel reluctantly returned Sam's gaze.

Sam smiled uncertainly. "What's wrong?"

Castiel looked slightly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to worry you." He tried for a reassuring smile, but just looked pained. He sighed. "It's just been a long year."

Sam perked up at the mention of his lost year, though he did his best not to look too eager. "Do you want to talk about it?"

The angel gave the hunter a wary look. "Do you, Sam?"

Sam shifted in his seat. "I mean, yeah. Dean and Bobby act like they don't trust me. It makes me wonder what could have happened while I was gone that made me a suspicious person." He said the last part with a sort of breathy laugh. When Castiel's gaze remained stern, Sam's face fell.

"So I did something, was that it? But how could I affect things here when I was - " he pointed meaningly towards the floor. " - _there_?"

Cas looked hesitant, as though he had expected this to come up, but was contemplating rerouting the conversation.

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask me about that."

Sam leaned towards Castiel from across the table, perched anxiously on the edge of his seat.

"Castellmeplease." God, this had to be bad if not even Cas would level with him. "I need to know." He stared into the angel's eyes imploringly. "It was a bad year _because_ of me, yeah?"

Castiel had the look of a man about to do something he'll regret. "You...yes, you weren't quite yourself." Sam was still staring at Castiel with rapt attention. Cas stood up uneasily. "Sam, I don't think you want to -"

Sam stood up suddenly. "_Believe me, Castiel_. I want to-"

"_SAM_." The force with which Castiel said his name stopped Sam cold.

The angel, whose face had taken on sharp, aggressive edge in order to be heard, suddenly looked weary.

"Sam, I didn't come here to tell you about last year."

Sam blinked. "Well, no, you came because I called you."

Castiel's deep blue eyes blazed into Sam's.

"I came because I wanted to see you. Because," the angel paused a moment, "I really did miss you when you - the real you - were gone. I realized how much I cared about you..."

Castiel trailed off, looking sadly at the hunter. He smiled weakly.

"But I understand now that I deluded myself into thinking...believing that-"

Sam, who had transitioned from shock to understanding, cut him off. "Do you really mean that?"

Cas almost looked amused. "Of course." He stepped away from Sam, as though to walk to the door. "I'm sorry to have bothered you, Sam." The hunter had never seen the angel's eyes so heavy with pain. "I was being irrational."

Sam felt his heart swell with longing and joy and apprehension. His thoughts were going a mile a minute as he tried to rationalize this completely irrational situation. He loved Castiel in...many different ways, yes. But an angel loving a human? There was a pit in Sam's stomach telling him it was impossible, fake, a joke.

Sam was at a loss. He gave in to another impulse.

He held his arms out, saying quietly, "Castiel, please, stay."

The angel's expression melted into joy and awestruck. He nearly ran at Sam, who caught him up in his arms and held him tightly.

The hunter buried his face in Castiel's hair, shocked and joyous beyond words. He pulled back so that he could look at the angel's face.

Castiel looked up at Sam with a reverence similar to the hunter's for the angel. "I'm glad you're back."

Sam smiled, gently resting the angel's hands on his chest.

"Me too."


End file.
